For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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