two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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