You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
