This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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