at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
