Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
