i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
