Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
