Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
