every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
