I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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