Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
