The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
