I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
