Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
