love makes seman taste better
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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