I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
