It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize