Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
