I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
