if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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