weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This baby is an asshole
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
