You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
