I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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