You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
