i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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