Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
