Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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