Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
