I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
