She is in my trunk
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
