She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
