Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
