I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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