I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm at about main and main street
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
