member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
