he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
