with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
