Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize