I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
