you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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