i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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