real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
