Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
