By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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