I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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