you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
