his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
