On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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