quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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