i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
