I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
