they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
