we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
