Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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