Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
