Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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