She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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