Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
