i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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